


Bucky vs. The Internet

by TaleWorthTelling



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-02
Updated: 2015-12-02
Packaged: 2018-05-04 12:26:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5334053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaleWorthTelling/pseuds/TaleWorthTelling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky is deeply invested in the online Captain America fandom. More than he'd like to admit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bucky vs. The Internet

**Author's Note:**

> Just an old prompt fill I found. Absolute crackfic, no reference to actual stories or fandom trends. Just Bucky and his fictional Internet fandom, which he complains about but secretly loves.

“ _I … I never told you, Cap … Steve … but I’ve always felt this way. I’ve always loved you, deep inside, and I held it close, secret … because I was afraid you didn’t feel the same. Afraid it wasn’t right. But I know now, and I want you to know_  … that I want your cock in me like yesterday. I’m serious. Pants off, soldier, I want to exert my tumescent patriotism all over you.”

“I’m pretty sure that last part isn’t real,” Steve commented, tone dry, interrupting Bucky’s excellent narration.

Bucky snorted. “None of it’s real, Steve.” He scrolled down the page to check the comments.

“I don’t think they’d end their tender love confession with a proposal that – ”

“That what?” Bucky twisted around in his swivel chair to narrow his eyes at Steve. “ ‘Cause I said that to you last Fourth of July. You can’t tell me it’s out of character. I really said that.”

“Only the sex part.” Steve picked up his crossword in a clear signal that he was done with this train of thought.

“’Only the sex part,’ he says.” Bucky shook his head and returned to his Internet quest. After a moment, he added, curious, “Are you really critiquing fan fiction smut of yourself?”

“That one wasn’t smut ‘til you extemporized patriotically.”

“Not the first time, Steve. Won’t be the last. Anyway, they’re all wrong. They think I’m some crying twig who doesn’t know what to do with his own dick. And apparently my ass never closes. And self-lubricates…”

“Wait, what?”

“Nothing,” he muttered quickly. “I don’t … read those…” There was a brief, awkward silence.

“But you love bottoming,” Steve continued, shaking it off. “And bottoming while telling me what to do. And climbing on top of me and sinki –“

“But it’s not all I love! And, frankly, the lack of variety is depressing. And boring. And a little insulting to my creativity. God, don’t you think the world would be a better place if the Internet knew that thing you did with your tongue on my ba—“

“Actually,” Steve interrupted in a somewhat strangled voice, “I really don’t think it would. But I can get behind your point.”

“Actually, in this scenario, I would be behind you—“

“Bucky.”

“Yes, Super!Dom5000?”

“I think we should finish this conversation in bed. Like, now.”

Bucky half rose, smirking a little lasciviously, a little expectantly, but then a comment on the computer screen caught his eye and he cursed. “No, goddamn it,  _I_  rescued  _you_ on that mission. And nobody cried. Or got off that night. Except Dugan, y’know, with his own hand. And that tree that he was behind, I guess.”

Steve sighed and straightened out his newspaper again, resolving to update his Steve/Bucky fic with a Bucky/Tony interlude and watch what happened. Bucky’d gotten really randy (not to mention inventive) after he’d ranted about that Coulson/Clint/Steve chapter.


End file.
